Exploring Past Relationships for a Loving Future

When people are not currently in a relationship, they often look at their past relationships to see where they went wrong. This is often seen as an exercise in futility or self-indulgence, but it can be helpful when trying to overcome the struggle to find love with a permanent partner. If a person chooses to look honestly, they will see there might be a pattern of mistakes they make. Some of them might wander back into the lives of their old flames and create a spark, but others will find a disaster if they try it. There are ways to use the past productively, but it is important to keep it from being an excuse to ignore faults that will hamper a successful romantic future.

Lack of a Spark
Looking at past relationships is often a time when a former flame is missed, and lovers might muse that it could have worked if they had only tried harder. There was generally a very good reason why it did not work, so it is important to remember the reason. For some, it might be as simple as a lack of chemistry. The couple might have gotten along well, but the spark of passion was missing. The lesson of this former relationship is that remaining friends is okay, but the need for romance and passion do matter.

Too Much Control
There are always people who want to control everything around them, and they often find their relationships fall apart after a few months. If their need is to control their partner, they will need to find someone who wants their life micromanaged. Looking back at their past honestly to see what went wrong could be an exercise where they learn not to try to control others, or they might find they need to seek someone less independent. It could be they are attracted to those who are in control of their own life, so they might want to look at their own issues before resuming the struggle to find a loving partner.

Lack of Support
Many are the ways partners support each other, so it is important to look past the financial aspect of any close relationship. Support within a relationship can also be physical or emotional. If this has been an issue in one or more relationships, the person looking for a partner needs to determine if it was their lack of emotional support or their partner’s lack that made it untenable. If they were there only for the good times, they need to learn that making a commitment covers all types of emotional situations.

Struggling to find love is often an uphill battle for those who do not understand the underlying reasons they find making a true connection difficult. They might have a series of issues that keep them single, or they might be attracted to the type of people who are not compatible with their personality. Looking for someone who is perfect for them might take an honest look at what they really need in a relationship, or they can keep going after what they want and failing miserably.